Module 1 – Avoiding Exasperation Interactions

The introductory part provides an overview of research-based concepts such as The Importance of Parents Meeting their Children’s Core Emotional Needs, How Negative Thinking Patterns Can Be Caused by Well-Meaning Parents, and How Temperament Effects Children’s Coping Styles. The case that parenting matters will be presented with research findings. Parents will be assured that they do not have to be perfect, but good enough; however this level of competence also involves training as most mistakes are unintentional.

Included in the research is the theory proposed by Dr. Jeffrey Young, the founder of Schema Therapy: when Core Emotional Needs are not adequately met in children, this leads to the formation of schemas or lifetraps (distorted thinking about self and others). A section on the introduction of the nine unhealthy Exasperation Interactions and the corresponding nine healthy Nurturing Interactions will follow. Each of them will be described in detail with appropriate movie scenes. Parents will gain awareness of their own Exasperation Interactions as most of them are done unconsciously in a subtle and unintentional manner.

Group exercises on how to identify Exasperations Interactions in cartoons will be conducted throughout in all the sessions.

 

Module 2- Connection and Acceptance

This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Connection and Acceptance, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Disconnection and Rejection. When children feel disconnected and rejected, they will be hypersensitive to disconnection and rejection.

With the aid of cartoons and movie scenes, parents will learn to identify the Exasperation Interactions that can be a roadblock to meeting this Core Emotional Need. Research findings on the consequences of not having this Core Emotional Need met will also be presented. Group exercise on how to process emotions will be introduced, and parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, such as how to spend quality time with their children, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need.

 

Module 3 – Healthy Autonomy

This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Healthy Autonomy and Performance, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Impaired Autonomy and Performance. It is important to allow children to develop a sense of being a “separate self” and to perform tasks their peers are performing.

With the aid of cartoons and appropriate movie scenes, the Exasperation Interactions that can be a roadblock to meeting this Core Emotional Need will be identified.  Research findings on the consequences of not having this Core Emotional Need met will also be presented. Parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, such as how to ensure basic safety and providing age-appropriate choices, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need.

 

Module 4 – Reasonable Limits

This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Reasonable Limits, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Impaired Limits. It is important for children to be given boundaries and expected to be “good citizens” in their homes and their schools and their societies.

Differentiating between Rights, Privileges, Needs and Wants can be confusing, rendering efforts to establishing limits ineffective. Parents will be educated on the differences between them, as well as how to pick the “right battles” between Moral, Conventional, Prudential and Personal issues.

With the aid of cartoons and movie scenes, parents will learn to identify the Exasperation Interactions that can be a roadblock to meeting this Core Emotional Need. Research findings on the consequences of not having this Core Emotional Need met will also be presented. Group exercises will be introduced, and parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need.

 

Module 5– Realistic Expectations

This session begins with the definition of the Core Emotional Need for Realistic Expectations, and what children will experience if this need is not met adequately, namely, Exaggerated Expectations. It is crucial that children are not made to feel that they have to attain perfection, by their parents, their schools or their societies.

With the aid of cartoons and movie scenes, parents will learn to identify the Exasperation Interactions that can be a roadblock to meeting this Core Emotional Need. Research findings on the consequences of not having this Core Emotional Need met will also be presented, including the very real dangers of sleep deprivation. Group exercises will be introduced, and parents will leave the session with very practical steps to take home, such as how to identify children’s gifts and talents and recognizing efforts versus results, which will ensure they will be able to meet this Core Emotional Need.

 

Module 6 – Community, Repair and Reconnect

This session focuses on the importance of parents roping in other healthy adults, along with adolescent peers, to make up for what may be lacking, as well as how parents can repair their relationship with their adolescents.

Parents will learn the importance of being part of a functional community as opposed to one in which parents are not involved in the lives of other children, underscoring the importance of the concept, “it takes a village to raise a child”. Research findings on the outcome of healthy functional community will also be presented, and practicals of how to set up a functional community will be explained. In addition to learning how a community can help, parents will also learn how to Repair and Reconnect a fractured relationship with their adolescent. This is done by empowering both adolescent and parent on how to be Vulnerable with each other instead of entering into a Vortex of Conflict Escalation (destructive conflict).

Parents will be introduced to the concept of Forgiveness and provided research about how unforgiveness can take its toll on one’s health and wellbeing. Appropriate movie scenes will also be shown to walk parents through the process of how to be Vulnerable, and how to have forgiveness and reconciliation.